Thursday, December 29, 2011

Happy New Year!!!

It is hard to believe it is 2012!!!

Are you looking forward to anything in 2012?

I wouldn't say there is much I am looking forward to. Hopefully making a few changes, for the better.

Happy New Year!!!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Having One of Those Days

I know I only have 1 kid.

But I still have a right to be overwhelmed.

Today I'm having one of those days where I am 100% convinced it would be a hell of a lot easier to have an 8-5 job.

So far today I have:

Done 1 load of laundry and still have 4 to go.

Did I mention I had the laundry caught up yesterday?  How the hell does that happen??

Oh that is right my husband changes his clothes no less than 3 times a day.

I've re-cleaned a bathroom that was just scrubbed 4 days ago.

Why you ask?  Oh because my husband decided to shave his head yesterday and not clean anything up.

I've vacuumed my entire house with Davis hanging from one leg.

I've picked the same toys up 500 times.

I've had shredded cheese dumped all over the inside of my fridge.

I've assisted in finding missing toys almost all day.  Damn little pieces.

And I talk to a toddler all day long.

I'd like to talk about Lady Gaga and the rumor that Taylor Lautner is gay, not about Team Umizoomi and Lightning McQueen.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Days 18 and 19 of Christmas

Frankly, I am tired of writing these but I am sticking to it!!!

Over the weekend we at watched the Polar Express a gazillion times because Davis is obsessed.

One of the times my husband said the kid in the nightgown that is last on the train was like him.

I asked why.

He said because like himself as a child that kid is very poor and has nothing.

That made me very sad.

I know my husband was very poor growing up but I guess I don't realize how it must have affected him.

It really makes my heart go out to kids in need. I have never known personally what it has felt like to want or need. Not that my family is rich, but we were comfortable.

I know that my husband sometimes didn't know if they'd have presents under the tree or food or shoes and that kills me. But it has also made him who he is today.

He should be very proud of what he has become considering what he came from.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Toddler Photography and a Little Blast from the Past

I thought a photo in front of our Christmas tree with Davis would be easy.  As you can see he didn't want to participate.

I also am very excited to annouce I've lost 20 lbs.  This is the picture that started my weight loss journey.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Day 17 of Christmas

My friend just had a baby.

We both belong to the same mommy group that adopts a family or two in need each year.

I took my friend dinner the other night and a few days before bringing it to her I told her that I'd take her gift for the family and drop it off when I dropped mine off.  That way she didn't have to drag 3 kids out of the house, then drag 3 kids out of the car and into the church where the toy collection was happening.

We both managed to forget all about her gift when I dropped the dinner off.

She was out my way shopping today so she said she'd bring it by and if I wasn't home she would leave it on my front porch.

I forgot to tell Jeff about this.

Jeff came home and finds the gift on our front porch.

I wasn't home.

Jeff was confused.

I get a phone call from him and it is all about this gift.

Here is our coversation:

Jill, the weirdest thing happened.

What happened Jeff??

Well, I came home from the grocery store and there was a gift on our front porch, did you order something?

No Jeff, I didn't order anything, why do you always assume I buy stuff all the time online and hide it from you??  Besides, UPS doesn't deliver on Saturdays.

Jill, you love online shopping, stop trying to deny it.  Anyways, there was a gift on our front porch, do you know what it is all about?

Yes, my friend dropped it off, it is her donation to a family in need, I told her I'd take it to the place of collection this week for her since she just had a baby and probably doesn't want to bring all 3 kids out to drop this gift off, so she was out shopping today and said she'd bring it by and if we were not home she said she'd leave it on her porch.

Oooops, I opened it.

YOU OPENED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, yeah, I wanted to see what it was.  I guess you will need to re-wrap it now.

Ummmm, yeah, I guess so.  Jeff, that gift is meant for a particular child, did it have a name on it??

Yeah, it said Neil, which really confused me because nobody named Neil lives here so I actually thought it might be for a neighbor so I got on the county real estate property search website and did a search to see if we had any neighbors named Neil.

Are you kidding me? (at this point I'm pretty much laughing so hard I'm crying)

No, I thought we had some other kids present.

But Jeff you opened it, so even if it did get delivered to the wrong house, it was opened.  You opened some other kids present!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know, I probably shouldn't have done that.

No, probably not.

Can you imagine if my husband's internet search came up with someone named Neil that lived in our neighborhood??

Seriously, I'm still laughing about this and this happened like 8 hours ago.

Did I also mentioned that my husband really liked the toy?  It was a Disney Cars Lego set.

He liked it so much he went and found one at Wal-Mart for Davis.

While he was at Wal-Mart I called him.

Here is how that conversation went:


Hi Jeff, I just stopped by my mom's house, what are you doing?

Well, that gift your friend left was pretty sweet and I think Davis would like it so I am at Wal-Mart looking for one.

What is it?

A Disney Cars Lego Set.

Jeff, I got that already for Davis, did you not see it when I wrapped presents 3 nights ago.  I am pretty sure I showed it to you and you said it was awesome.

No, I don't remember seeing that.  I don't really pay attention to a lot of things you tell me.

Jeff, you picked it up and looked at it and said, that is awesome.

Jill, I don't remember this.  I don't think you showed me.

Yes, I did show you, I clearly remember it.

Ugh, well, I have to go, I have a crappy cart and this place is packed.

So, the moral of this story is, my husband has no regard for things that clearly are not for him and he doesn't listen to anything I say, EVER!!!!!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Day 16 of Christmas

This is the first year Davis actually recognizes things related to Christmas.

I am loving it!!!

Although today he started asking for presents.

Thanks to Dora the Explorer.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Day 15 of Christmas

I bring you the obligatory mall Santa photo.

Cost of mall Santa photo shoot - $35

The fact that my kid looks like he just smoked a joint - PRICELESS

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Day 14 of Christmas

I had a slight change of heart.

Kind of like the Grinch did.

Christmas cards will be sent.

Day 13 of Christmas

For the first time ever I am not sending Christmas cards.

I just don't feel like it.

Addressing envelopes doesn't sound fun.

Spending $50 on postage doesn't sound any better.

So if you didn't get a card from me it isn't because I don't like you.

I am just cheap and lazy this year.

A Realization

While at bunco over the weekend we somehow got on the subject of kids and sleep.

That was when it hit me.

It has been almost 3 years since I've slept like a normal person.

I'm not looking for sympathy or advice.

I just realized that is a really long time for not much sleep.

I will admit I'm kind of used to it now, weird, right? In fact my body is so set for not sleeping that I've become an insomniac of sorts which is an entire problem of it's own.

Davis has NEVER had an entire week where he has slept through the night every single night.

That is crazy.

That is insane.

That is why we don't have a baby brother or sister for Davis.

Can you imagine throwing a newborn into this mix?

I currently cherish the 4 hours of sleep I do get each night.

If we had a newborn I'd get 0 hours.

Anyways, when I started talking about the fact I've never had a full night sleep in 3 years I said how I used to think moms that complained about not sleeping were nuts and liars.

Well, I'm eating my thoughts and words now.

I am never looking for sympathy and now I see that those moms were not either. I also see that they were not lying and certaintly are not nutjobs.

They were just overstressed and overtired moms wanting to let people know that hey, the reason I look like shit is because I don't fucking sleep, EVER!!!!!!!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Day 12 of Christmas

13 days till Santa arrives!!!!

What is on your Christmas list?

Here is mine, in no specific order:

1. Diamonds

2. Diamonds

3. Diamonds

4. A gift card to the mall

5. Diamonds

6. A diamond encrusted IPhone

7. A vacation

Did I mention I wanted diamonds?

Asking For Help

I typically don't do these kinds of thing via my blog, but my friend really needs your help.

Her son was diagnosed with autism around the same time Davis was.

They would love to get him an IPad, but unfortunately things are really tight for them and they just cannot afford one.

Lucky for her she was able to enter a contest.

She took a picture of their Elf on a Shelf doing something inappropriate and if her photo gets the most votes she wins an IPad 2.  If they win this would mean so much to them.

So please, go here and vote today!!!!!

Her photo is #40 and titled "Making Ends Meet."

Just click "LIKE" below the photo to vote.  You can vote once a day until the voting ends.

And to be quite honest, even if she wasn't my friend I'd say her photo is by far the best one.  HILARIOUS!!!

Go on, take a look for yourself and VOTE!!!!!!

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Day 11 of Christmas

While waiting in line to return something at Wal-Mart today I notice a woman sending her 3 year old son and daughter (I am assuming twins) into the restroom alone.

I think to myself who does that?

Well, I will tell you who does that.

The same mom that tells her 3 year old son who decided to sit on the floor, "Nigga, get up."

Then when her 3 year old daughter does the same thing she says, "Ho, get up."

My husband and I both looked at each other and said at the same time, "Did you hear that? Did she just say what I think she said?"


Saturday, December 10, 2011

Day 10 of Christmas

I bring you this video.

I was laughing so hard I almost peed myself.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Day 9 of Christmas

Today Davis fell in love with the silver tree I have on top if the dining room table.

At lunch he declared it was "Davis' tree" and then proceeded to hug and kiss it.

When he was done he said: Oh tree, boo, boo gone now.

I died.

Where do they come up with this stuff?

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Day 8 of Christmas

I have several friends who make amazing art projects with their kids.

I am far from artistic and I have little patience for certain things.

Especially artsy things.

But I see all of this great stuff my friends make with their kids and decided Davis was old enough to try something with.

I decided on a handprint tree and some thumbprint reindeer ornaments.

It started out great.

Davis was all about the handprint tree.

He was not all about decorating the tree with fingerprints for ornaments or the thumbprint reindeer ornaments.

This is where it went south.

He refused to make the thumbprint reindeer. Fine, I will just make them, the grandparents won't know the difference between my thumbprint or his.

This is when his sensory issues kicked into high gear.

He was mad about the way the ornaments were standing to dry, mad about the paint on his fingers and mine, mad about the bowl of water we were using to clean our hands, you get the idea, at this point he was overstimulated and at the point of no return.

We sat on the floor together while he cried, hit and hyperventilated over the entire thing.

I am pretty sure our art project days are done.

I did get this out of it though, which I will cherish forever.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Day 7 of Christmas

Today is my dad's 63rd birthday, it was also 12 years ago today that he had a heart attack, on his 51st birthday.

Happy Birthday Dad!!!!!!!

Now, onto Christmasy stuff.

1. When Davis feels better he and I are going to be making ornaments to give to his grandmas.  Lord help me.  I'm neither crafty nor artistic.  Davis also doesn't sit still, ever.  This is going to be interesting.

2. I keep finding Christmas bulbs in random places in the house, apparentely my little elf is taking them down.  The first day I had the tree up he managed to strip it from the middle on down of all decorations in less than 2 minutes (I was on the phone in the kitchen).  Yes, all of them.

3. I have a collection of ceramic Santa boots I inherited from my mom, she was tired of them and going to sell them at her garage sale, I always loved them so I gave them a new home.  Davis thinks they are his boots and tries to put them on his feet.  They don't fit him so he decided the dog should wear them.  They don't fit her either.  After he realized that he moved onto daddy, ummmmm, I'm sure you can guess, they didn't fit Jeffiri either.

4. I secretely want to turn our house into THAT house, you know the one that blazes with so many Christmas lights you can see it from space and has traffic backed up for miles because the entire city wants to see it.  Do you think Jeffiri will be on board with this idea? 

5. I also want a white Christmas tree, I will find one on clearance after Christmas, mark my word.  It is going to be badass next Christmas up in here with my sparkly white tree and multi-colored bulbs I will buy for it.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Always Cold

I am always freezing.

Especially my feet.

I am one of those crazies that wears sweats in the summertime because I freeze in the a/c.

I sleep with 3 blankets right now and am thinking of getting the heated blanket tomorrow.


Day 6 of Christmas

It snowed!!!!

When Davis woke up today and looked out his bedroom window he said: Oh mama, it's ruined!!

I guess he wasn't so sure about that snow.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Day 5 of Christmas

I amazed myself and received an early Christmas present today.

A 4.0 GPA for my first semester back to college!!!!!!

I celebrated by splurging on a bottle if Skinny Girl White Cranberry Cosmo.

And it is delicious!!

We also got blessed with Rosceola.

Yep, Davis now has Rosceola.

As if the double ear infection last week wasn't enough.

This does however explain the scary high temps he was running all weekend, hovering between 103 and 105.

This morning he woke up with the classic, lacy looking, Rosceola rash.

I called the doctor, no need to be seen, it just has to run it's course.

Thankfully, adults cannot in any way catch Rosceola so Jeff and I are in the clear. However, kids, are another story.

Here's to yet another week stuck at home.

I will say I am secretly enjoying it, last week was great, we got so much done at home, we didn't feel rushed going from place to place and best of all we had some great mommy and Davis time.

Davis likes lifting his shirt up and telling us about his rash, that according to him, is sad.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Day 4 of Christmas

Day 4 of Christmas is the day Christmas threw up in my house.

Only one thing went wrong, my beloved Christmas lights (that my mom and sister claim to have been blinded by) finally bit it.

My mom had to wear sunglasses just to look at them.

But I loved them.

I knew it was just a matter of time before they stopped working, I've had them for 12 years.

I felt a little like this when I plugged them in and got nothing.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Day 3 of Christmas

Real or Fake?

Which are you?

We are fake.

And with that I will leave you this.

We Are So Good

Last Christmas we bought a Tag Junior for Davis, he was not into it at all, unless you count throwing it at the dog being into something.

We ended up taking it away from him and my husband put it somewhere safe.

Do you think we could find the blessed thing?


We are just that good at hiding things.

I am pretty sure if we had Siri, we could ask her and she'd tell us where it was at because Jeffiri isn't able to tell me.

This is seriously driving me insane and that is the last time I tell Jeff to put something away.

Tag Junior isn't cheap.

So my question is, if you were to hide a Tag Junior, where would you hide it??

Friday, December 2, 2011

Day 2 of Christmas

I ventured out to Toys R'Us today, they were having a sale.

I needed a few items for Davis and they were super cheap today only from 3 pm until 9 pm.

My mom came to watch Davis for the hour I was gone.

F@&$ the Christmas shoppers.

That place was a madhouse.

Next year Davis is getting gift cards.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

And So It Begins

Day 1 of the month of Christmas.

Each day this month I will bring you some type of Christmas blogging joy.

And with that I bring you Clark W. Griswold.

I apologize for not being able to embed the video into my post, but you know You Tube and copyright laws at what not, I can't.