Sunday, October 23, 2011

Always Working

My husband has an important job, I get that.

BUT, I feel like he is always working.

I feel like weekends and evenings are spent with countless phone calls.

We can't go anywhere without him spending half the time we are there getting phone calls.

We try to watch TV at night together and he constantly gets phone calls.

His phone is always ringing.

In fact he is standing outside right now, on his 5th phone call in an hour.

It kind of drives me nuts.



Friday, October 21, 2011

It's A Boy!!!!

I remember when I got pregnant having a strange feeling I was having a boy.

BUT, I was a girl and loved Barbies and Pink and all things girly.

So, there was no question, I would have a girl.

Boys like mud and trucks and the color blue and they fart.

At our 20 week anatomy scan we were not sure if we wanted to find out the sex of the baby or not.

My husband really wanted to, I was indifferent.

We found out.

Jeff is nosy.

I remember the ultrasound technician said she has to do the important stuff first and if she sees what the baby is along the way great, if not, she will spend a little time at the end trying to get him or her to cooperate.

Baby wouldn't cooperate and she almost had to give up because we needed to move on, there were other appointments she had that day.

Then right as she was about to throw in the towel, baby turned and there it was.

She didn't even have to tell me.

A BOY!!!!!!!

I remember thinking, a boy???

Really??

BUT I'M A GIRL!!!!!!!  I AM SUPPOSED TO HAVE A GIRL!!!

How do you change the diaper of a boy?  They have a penis for gods sake!!!!

I know nothing about boys.

I know nothing about things that boys like to do.

I'm going to have to play with trucks, cars, worms and dirt.

No tutus, no hair clips, no dresses.

No toddlers & tiaras.

Okay, toddlers & tiaras was a joke.

I was so happy but so nervous about having a boy.

Once Davis arrived, I didn't think twice about all these fears of changing diapers on a boy or the other stuff I was so worried about.

You just do it and don't think twice.

If we were to have another baby and I had a girl, I'd probably be freaked out.

Why?

Because I'm used to a boy.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

6 Inches of Snow

It has not stopped raining at all today.

Someone asked a question to one of our local news stations via their FB page, it was:

"How much snow would this have been today?"

The weatherman replied with:

"6 inches"

Yikes!!!!

For the record it is nearly 10 p.m. and still raining and we have a 70% chance tomorrow.

I don't mind all the different types of weather we get, but I really find rain to be a downer.


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Kids That Don't Listen

Davis does not listen to me, at all.

I'm not really sure if this is a phase or something I really need to be harder on him about.

I realized how bad it was yesterday when we were out playing in the leaves in our front yard, he took off to the road, I yelled stop, he looked at me and laughed, as a big truck was coming.

I have never moved so fast in my life.

As I get to him, he is already in the road, I grab him, he breaks away, throws himself and will not allow me to pick him up.

He is strong.

Trust me.

Fighting Davis is awful and tiring.

After that we went straight in the house where I explained to him how bad what he just did was.

He just laughs at me.

This isn't our first incident like this that involves vehicles that could seriously injure or kill him.

He has an extremely difficult time leaving places.

There have been about 10 times where he has managed to break away from me in parking lots because he is so distraught we have left the place we were just at.  He runs across the parking lots, not knowing that he needs to look for cars all while mommy has to drop everything she is carrying, keys, purse, etc... to take off after him.

I am back to taking a stroller with me, everywhere, because of this problem.

It is the only way I can ensure he isn't going to get away.

Please help me!!!

It has gotten to where I don't even want to take him anywhere anymore.

I don't even want to get into the fight we have getting him in the car seat when he is severly upset we have left somewhere.  That is another story, let's just say I have basically just shut the doors to the car while he has a fit on the floor for over 20 minutes way too many times.

Monday, October 17, 2011

The Decision Has Been Made

We have officially decided on a preschool for Davis.

It was the first and only preschool we looked at.

I could have gone and looked at 5 more preschools and I know I would have just kept going back to this one.

Kind of like when you find your wedding dress.

It is a GREAT preschool and I know we made a great decision. 

I mailed in our forms and application fee today.

Squeeee!!!!

If we want he can start the day after he turns 3, as long as he is potty trained.

Otherwise he starts next Fall.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Daily Countdown

Just like when I worked, every day I hit a point where I start counting down the hours until my work day is over.

When I worked it was 2 p.m.

Ahhhh, only 3 hours left and I could get the H-E-L-L out of work.

Now my time is 4 p.m.

Ahhhh, only 3 hours till bedtime for the kiddo.

Do you countdown the hours until bedtime?

Staying Positive

The past month has been a little rough on me for numerous reasons.

Davis went back to his old sleeping habits of waking up at 2 a.m. and staying up until 5 a.m. - not fun, especially since he had been sleeping so well, so to go from a great sleeper to about 3 weeks straight of no sleep really did a number on me.

We are back on track with his sleep the last few days, with the exception of the other night, so things are looking up there.

When he doesn't sleep well I have issues actually falling asleep for some reason, after he does a few days of waking up I start fearing going to sleep.  This goes back to when he didn't sleep at all, ever, for well over a year.  It was so bad that I was just afraid to sleep.  I know, weird.

I've also been overwhelmed by friends announcing pregnancies.  I know I say I can't handle another child anytime soon, but seeing all my friends with kids the same age as Davis getting pregnant for their second does sting a bit.  I'm over it now, but it did have me down for a few weeks.

I have also been busy with school.  My 3rd class started last week and 3 classes is so much harder than just 2 classes.  I didn't think it would be, but it is.  I think I just had a system down for the 2 classes and adding the 3rd in threw me for a loop.  I've only got 8 weeks to go though so I know I can do it.

We also received great news about Davis.  The behavioral pediatrician that specializes in autism that diagnosed Davis last March with mild autism took away the diagnosis and declared Davis wasn't on the spectrum at all.  I never believed Davis was on the spectrum anyways and I've got my own opinions on this doctor, despite my feelings we started doing intense therapy which consisted of speech therapy and occupational therapy 2 days a week for 2 hours each session.  I've now dropped back to 1 day which is going to be nice.  I know you are probably thinking that 2 days a week doesn't sound like a lot, but it is, it was a huge committment.  We met with our team of early intervention people from the county yesterday and a few of them hadn't seen Davis since before he had his tonsils out in June and they were beyond shocked at him.  They believe and I believe that the majority of Davis' issues were because he had sleep apnea from his enlarged tonsils.  I don't think it was a coincidence that he started talking like mad within 2 weeks of his tonsilectomy.

I've also declared that it is time for me to start doing a few things for myself, for real, not just dreaming about it.  I have to workout, I just have to, I worked out every single morning of my life until I had Davis and my weight and changes to my body since having Davis have been a huge problem for me.  I am making it my goal to get to the gym and workout at least twice a week.  We have gone once this week and it felt so great to not be pushing a stroller with a 2 year old in it as my workout.  I listened to my music and watched the news while sweating my ass off (literally) and it felt great!!

I re-started Weight Watchers 2 weeks ago and have already lost 4 lbs.!!!!!  Go Me!!!!

Our dishwasher broke last week and our new one will be installed tomorrow!!  Woot Woot!!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Somedays

I wish I was 23.

That was such a great time in my life.

I was single.

Dating.

Having so much fun.

I would love to go back there, just for a week or two.

Have some fun.

Go out to bars all the time.

Not have a care in the world.

Live alone, in my awesome apartment.

No husband.

No kid.

Just me.

And Lifetime movies on my tiny 13" TV because that is all I could afford.

And my Plymouth Neon.

And awesome clothes because that is what I spent MY money on.

Yeah, MY money.

MY stuff.

MY life.

MY little apartment.

Those were the days.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Random

1. I haven't slept more than 4 hours a night in about 3 weeks.  Most of that was because Davis was sick and up a lot but now he is fine and I still can't sleep.   I feel like shit.

2. Our dishwasher broke today.  I cried, mostly because I'm tired and frustrated about not sleeping so the dishwasher breaking was just the icing on the cake.   It is only 5 years old, we paid $600 for it and have had issues with it from day 1.  I went off on the guy at Maytag over it and got no sympathy, although I'm sure I'm not the only person to swear at him this week.  I called 2 different local appliance repair places and told them the problem, they told me how much the parts were.  $72 for a pump and $189 for a control panel, plus labor.  Not worth fixing is basically what I was told.  I figured as much.  It took me 45 minutes to wash the 2 days worth of dishes by hand that were piled in the dishwasher.

3. My skin keeps breaking out, probably because I'm tired and stressed to the max.

4. My doctor wrote me a prescription for a sleep aid, I never got it filled.  I think I should do that today.

5. I feel like all I do is complain, all the time, about not sleeping.

6. Our anniversary was yesterday, we are supposed to getaway this weekend, but now that we need a new dishwasher maybe we should save our money.  But we really need a break.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Every Time I Turn Around

Someone else I know is announcing a pregnancy.

Even though I really don't know if I could handle a newborn and Davis, I still get sad every time I see or hear one of these annoucements.

I feel like I'm standing on the sidelines watching everyone else be happy, but me.

Damn Facebook, you make my uterus hurt.

That was weird, right?

I guess I always just assumed we would have a 2nd child and I don't like it when plans to awry.

Not to mention most of these people on their 2nd children had their 1st child when Davis was 1 year old.

If you are pregnant, don't announce it to me.

Unless you want me to go cry in a corner all afternoon and feel sorry for myself.

Bah Hum Bug.

Okay, really you can annouce it to me, I'll be happy for you.

Maybe :o)

I'm going to go have a drink now.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Feeling Defeated and Alone

Davis has never been a good sleeper.

Yes, I have written about this multiple times.

I've tried it all, so I'm not looking for solutions.

I think some kids just don't sleep well.

In 6 months Davis will be 3 years old.

Guess how many times we have gone a full week with no middle of the night wake ups?

Zero.

I feel like I'm the mom that everyone probably whispers about.

The mom that cancels playdates because she has only had 2 hours of sleep each night every week.

Sorry, we can't make it today, Davis was up all night and we took a nap from 6 a.m. until 9 a.m. and I just can't do a playdate.

Whenever I'd hear of moms who had kids that never slept I'd think, yeah, whatever, that is just crazy and they are probably making it up.

They aren't.  Until you have a kid that doesn't sleep of your own, you have NO idea what it feels like.

I'm sick of it.

I'm sick of feeling like crap every single day of my life.

I'm tired of being deprived of sleep.

I feel like a zombie.

I can't remember anything anymore and I used to have an amazing memory.

My skin is a mess.

And I've lost pretty much all motivation for things I enjoy because the little energy I do have left is spent on other things, like making sure the house is picked up and entertaining Davis.

I would never wish a bad sleeper on anyone.

As much as I'd love a brother or sister for Davis, maybe this is god's way of telling us we are meant to be one and done.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

What the $%^& is Pinterest?

I have no idea what Pinterest is about.

But I joined.

I started pinning things I like.

I guess it is sort of a way to collect all of the junk you see online that you like in one place.

That way when you are like, damn, I wish I could remember where I saw that picture online of that awesome laundry room you can just login to Pinterest and BAM, you got it!

Click the link to the right and "follow" me on Pinterest.