Sunday, October 2, 2011

Feeling Defeated and Alone

Davis has never been a good sleeper.

Yes, I have written about this multiple times.

I've tried it all, so I'm not looking for solutions.

I think some kids just don't sleep well.

In 6 months Davis will be 3 years old.

Guess how many times we have gone a full week with no middle of the night wake ups?

Zero.

I feel like I'm the mom that everyone probably whispers about.

The mom that cancels playdates because she has only had 2 hours of sleep each night every week.

Sorry, we can't make it today, Davis was up all night and we took a nap from 6 a.m. until 9 a.m. and I just can't do a playdate.

Whenever I'd hear of moms who had kids that never slept I'd think, yeah, whatever, that is just crazy and they are probably making it up.

They aren't.  Until you have a kid that doesn't sleep of your own, you have NO idea what it feels like.

I'm sick of it.

I'm sick of feeling like crap every single day of my life.

I'm tired of being deprived of sleep.

I feel like a zombie.

I can't remember anything anymore and I used to have an amazing memory.

My skin is a mess.

And I've lost pretty much all motivation for things I enjoy because the little energy I do have left is spent on other things, like making sure the house is picked up and entertaining Davis.

I would never wish a bad sleeper on anyone.

As much as I'd love a brother or sister for Davis, maybe this is god's way of telling us we are meant to be one and done.

2 comments:

Sassytimes said...

Sorry Jill! Lack of sleep is the WORST! That's why I am not a fan of the newborn stage. I enjoy sleep way too much.

What does D do in the night when he wakes up?

Mother of Ambition said...

Oh my gosh honey, I'm so sorry! While Emmaline is not a good sleeper and I complain a lot, I do manage to get about 5 hours a night so I suppose I should shut my mouth! I'm also curious as to what he does all night... I specialize in children and family counseling and would be happy to try to help you brainstorm some back to bed solutions if you want! Let me know.

In the meantime, you're in my 12am, 3am, and 6am (our nightfeeding schedule lately) thoughts. ; )