Crazy lady across the street found 3 stray cats a year ago.
She adopted them as her own.
They live outside.
Roam the neighborhood.
Shit in our flower beds.
My husband had decided we are not having another summer with our flower beds full of disgusting cat shit.
I hate cats.
He hates cats.
Our dog hates cats.
Davis loves cats.
Is he my kid?
So the last few weeks my husband has sprinkled this friendly cat deterrent all over the yard and flower beds. It is supposed to smell and taste terrible to cats, but it won't harm them, it is just supposed to stop them from shitting in our yard.
It doesn't work.
They are still shitting all over.
My husband has decided on a more drastic measure.
First he tells me he is going to buy cat traps and trap them.
I said, ummm, okay Jeff, what will you do with these trapped cats?
He says he is going to take them to the Humane Society.
Now, as much as I hate cats, I know what the Humane Society will do with them.
I inform Jeff they will probably be euthanized and we can't do that.
He said he didn't give a shit.
I said, find another way.
He discovered the SCARECROW.
Jeff was so excited describing how this works. Then in his most serious voice he looks at me and says "Jill, you will need to be very careful leaving and going into the house"
I busted out laughing so hard I was crying.
He then decided maybe it wouldn't be so wise to leave these "creatures" on during the day, it might piss me, the mailman and other unsuspecting guests off.
Although I'm thinking that once we get rid of the cats it might be funny to invite people over and shoot them with water.
I should set a video camera up.
If your my friend and I invite you over, be scared, be very, very scared.