My New Source of Amusement

Go to your local Craigslist.

Look under the personals.

Find the sub category "missed connections".

You will thank me later.

Why?

Why is it that if I lie down on the couch that is a signal in the toddler world that I must want a 30 lb. toddler jumping on my belly?

I Bit the Bullet

Wordless Wednesday

Watch Your Kid!!!!

I took Davis to our local park yesterday to celebrate his birthday.

When we arrived I noticed another little boy about his age with his mother.

We ate our lunch first, then we went to play.

I noticed this boy's mother was way more concerned with reading her books, paperwork and chatting on her cell phone than paying any attention to where her 3 year old son was or what he was doing.

Two other mothers noticed this as well and asked me if I knew where his mom was.

I motioned to the lady who was basically hiding in the bushes with her back to the playground, chatting on the phone.

They rolled their eyes and said, I don't care if this park is in "Safetown, Ohio", you just can't do that.

I agreed.

Now, there is a huge difference between chilling on a park bench while keeping a watchful eye on your child and what this woman was doing.

It was bad.

So bad that I actually couldn't sleep over it last night.

As Davis and I were getting ready to leave, I decided we needed to use the bathroom first.

Now, the bathroom is a decent walk from where the park area is at. (if you are know me in real life, you know which park I was at, and the bathroom isn't that close)

Non-attentive mom is chatting away on her cell phone, head down, never bothering to look up to see where her son is at, like she had done the entire 2 hours we were there.

We begin our trek to the bathroom and this little boy starts following us.

I think to myself, okay, fine, any second his mom is going to get up, realize her son is gone and come get him.

Nope.

I even said loudly several times, "HONEY, YOU BETTER GO BACK TO YOUR MOMMY, WE ARE LEAVING"

Still nothing.

We get halfway to the bathroom and are now really, really quite far away from the playground and she still never notices.

I'm really upset by now, I know that this kid cannot continue following us to the bathroom, it is entirely too far away and besides I am NOT responsible for this kid and I'm not having this mom freak out on me for her child going with us.

So I tell Davis to stop and we need to walk back to return our friend to his mom. He didn't want too, he wanted to stop right where we were and play with our new friend.

Which we did.

For 10 minutes!!!

For 10 god damn minutes hid mom never turned around or bothered to look up to see where her son was.

Finally, she hangs up her phone, gathers her stuff, walks over to whete we are and tells "Nico" (yes his name was Nico) it was time to go get his brother at school.

She never once said, oh my, I had no idea my son was all the way over here nor did she seem the least bit concerned about him or the fact he was a good 500 feet away with a total stranger.

So many things could have happened to this child, someone could have nabbed him, he could have walked away far enough and made it out onto a very busy street, he could have gotten lost in that park, I could go on and on and on.

All because the mom was so self involved that she didn't care.

I thought about this all night and have decided that if I ever encounter something like this again, that mom will get my two cents about not watching her child.

I don't care where you live or where you are, nothing is safe anymore.

All it takes is 1 second for something to happen.

You don't have to be a helicopter parent, but PAY ATTENTION!!!!!

Davis' 3rd Birthday Interview

I've seen these floating around the blogosphere and think they are adorable, this is the first year I felt Davis was whitty enough to partake.

It wasn't easy getting an interview with a 3 year old, but I managed to get them all answered, even if it did take me 2 days.

What is your favorite color?
Red

What is your favorite toy?
Lightning McQueen

What is your favorite fruit?
Apple

What is your favorite TV show?
Team Umizoomi, Mike the Night, Dora the Explorer, Cat in the Hat, Little Einsteins and Max & Ruby

What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch?
Chicken nuggets

What is your favorite outfit?
Pajamas

What is your favorite game?
Chase the dog

What is your favorite snack?
Goldfish crackers

What is your favorite animal?
Maizy (our labradoodle)

What is your favorite song?
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

What is your favorite book?
The Very Hungry Caterpillar and Go Dog Go

Who is your best friend?
Daddy Tom (his grandpa)

What is your favorite cerail?
Cinnamon Toast Crunch (note, he never gets it either, too much sugar)

What is your favorite thing to do outside?
Explore

What is your favorite drink?
Water

What is your favorite holiday?
Christmas

What do you like to take to bed with you at night?
Blanket

What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?
Sausage, toast, oatmeal and cereal

What do you want for dinner on your birthday?
Grilled cheese

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Big

Letter to Davis

Dear Davis,

Wow!!!!

I cannot believe it has already been 3 years since we welcomed you into our lives.

We've come a long way baby and I'm looking forward to see what our future holds with you.

You are an amazing little boy and words cannot express how much we love every single day with you.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Mr. Fix It

Davis is my Mr. Fix It.

Ever since he was about a year old he has been obsessed with taking things apart, seeing how they work and putting them back together.

Lately he has really taken off with this skill.

He is constantly asking me for screwdrivers and wrenches.

Seriously kid??

You are only 3!!!!!!

Next thing I know he will be remodeling my laundry room.

Maybe that isn't such a bad thing....

Just Call Our Yard the Neighborhood Litter Box

Crazy lady across the street found 3 stray cats a year ago.

She adopted them as her own.

They live outside.

Roam the neighborhood.

Shit in our flower beds.

My husband had decided we are not having another summer with our flower beds full of disgusting cat shit.

I hate cats.

He hates cats.

Our dog hates cats.

Davis loves cats. 

Is he my kid?

So the last few weeks my husband has sprinkled this friendly cat deterrent all over the yard and flower beds.  It is supposed to smell and taste terrible to cats, but it won't harm them, it is just supposed to stop them from shitting in our yard.

It doesn't work.

They are still shitting all over.

My husband has decided on a more drastic measure.

First he tells me he is going to buy cat traps and trap them.

I said, ummm, okay Jeff, what will you do with these trapped cats?

He says he is going to take them to the Humane Society.

Now, as much as I hate cats, I know what the Humane Society will do with them.

I inform Jeff they will probably be euthanized and we can't do that.

He said he didn't give a shit.

I said, find another way.

He did.

He discovered the SCARECROW.

Jeff was so excited describing how this works.  Then in his most serious voice he looks at me and says "Jill, you will need to be very careful leaving and going into the house"

I busted out laughing so hard I was crying.

He then decided maybe it wouldn't be so wise to leave these "creatures" on during the day, it might piss me, the mailman and other unsuspecting guests off.

Although I'm thinking that once we get rid of the cats it might be funny to invite people over and shoot them with water.

I should set a video camera up.

If your my friend and I invite you over, be scared, be very, very scared.

Good Old Google

When I have my first procedure done, it is temporary, so it is done at my urologist's office.

After my testing a few weeks ago they handed me a prescription for Valium to get filled, these were to take prior to in office procedure.

I got them filled right away because I didn't want to forget.

I get the bottle and I only have 2 pills.

Each are 10 mg.

The bottle says to take both 10 mg pills, 30 minutes before my in office procedure.

That is a total of 20 mg of Valium.

I thought that sounded like a lot.

Of course you know me and google.

That damn google.

It gets me in all sorts of trouble.

I find this kind of stuff:

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

Thank you google.

If I hadn't googled "20 mg Valium", I may have just smoked a bowl and drank a half bottle of whiskey with my pills.

Dear Disney

Why have you stopped producing Wall-E toys??

You make toys for nearly all of your other movies for years and years and years.

I have a very distraught 3 year old.

He woke up at 4 am screaming about wanting a little Wall-E toy.

I am forced to buy them used on Ebay for outrageous prices because they are now collectible.

WTF Disney.

You suck.

UTI

I ended up with a UTI from my bladder tests.

Sweet.

Is it April yet??

Trapped

I'm so happy I have some hope that my problem will be fixed.

But I can't help feeling as if I've been trapped in a nightmare.

If I didn't have this problem and I heard someone talk about it, I know what I would think.

It is all in your head.

YOU.ARE.CRAZY

The thing is, I'm not crazy.

This is a REAL health problem.

It is devastating.

I've reached a point in it where I almost cannot take anymore, which is why I finally sought out help from a doctor.

If I had no hope for fixing this problem I honestly cannot imagine living the remainder of my life this way.

I know that going pee over 25 times a day doesn't sound like it would be horrible, I mean, it isn't cancer, I'm not dying.

But it is horrible.

Imagine if you always had constant awareness of your bladder.

Imagine if your life revolved around finding the next bathroom.

Imagine not even being able to shop for an hour without using the bathroom twice.

Imagine not being able to take your child to a park to play because it is just far to much work to stop his or her play so mommy can go use the bathroom every 30 minutes.

Imagine having a fear of traveling long distances in a car because you know you will have to stop numerous times to find a bathroom.

Imagine not even being able to enjoy the gym, running, etc... anymore because 5 minutes into bouncing around your bladder whacks out and doesn't allow you to continue.

Imagine purposely dehydrating yourself to avoid frequent bathroom use.

Imagine not sleeping anymore because of your frequent nighttime trips to the bathroom. 

Yes, I managed to live with this problem for 8 years, I can't believe I let it go on so long, but I was embarrassed and I was young and I thought I was just crazy, it was in my head or that I was imagining all of it.

It wasn't until last summer that things got so bad that I knew I couldn't ignore the problem anymore.  I used to only get up once a night to pee, then all of a sudden it turned into 5 times a night, just like that.  Sometimes I think that it is worse than being up with a newborn all night, at least then you are taking care of an innocent, sweet, baby and not some crazy, irritated bladder.

It looks like my trial device will be implanted on April 3, I should have confirmation of this date by today, hopefully.

I'll have it for 4 days and go back on April 6 to have it removed.

What a tease, right?

If that trial period works and I exprience bladder freedom for a few days I am going to be so sad to have it removed and then have to wait another 2 weeks for a permanent one.  But to be honest, if it means freedom for the rest of my life, I can wait 2 weeks, that is nothing.

I cannot wait to not feel TRAPPED anymore.

Birthday Cake

Davis' 3rd birthday is coming up.

We are planning on a gymnastics party!!

I'm pretty excited about it, I kept trying to come up with party ideas that were not too expensive and not held at my house.

Our house is not huge and having 10 kids plus parents in our home for a birthday party just seemed overwhelming.

This is when I wish he had a summer birthday.

I remembered our local gymnastics studio did birthday parties so I gave them a call, very reasonable, the kids get a 45 minute gymnastics lesson, you can bring in whatever you want to eat, perfect.

I'm just waiting to find out my surgery date before I go ahead and reserve a date and pay for this shindig.

So in honor of planning Davis' birthday party I asked him what kind of cake he wanted and this is what he said:

My Urodynamic Testing Experience

To say this test was uncomfortable and awkward would be an undertatement.

Everyone has different tolerences for things, this is something I didn't tolerate well.

I'd rather be in labor and give birth than to have this test again.

Let me start out by saying, I was very scared going into this, so that probably didn't help my tolerence level.

I walked into the procedure room and starting crying like a baby when I saw all the weird gadgets that would be inserted.  When I found out my doctor was indeed planning on a cystoscopy I really freaked out, to the point that they agreed to allow Jeff in the room to get me calmed down.

It was finally agreed that the cystoscopy would not be done, I was just too scared and too panicked.  The nurse said that she didn't really know why the doctor wanted to do one, it isn't normal procedure so she told me that if the doctor still wanted one they would schedule it at the hospital and I'd be put under anesthesia.

Let the testing begin.

I had to first sit on this weird table, toilet, computerized piece of equipment and pee into a special toilet that measures your urine stream.  Weird.

I could not do this, I got stage fright.

Figures.

So the nurse emptied my bladder with a catheter which hurt going in and hurt going out and burned like hell.

Next, 3 more catheters were insterted, each one comunicated with the computer, you figure out where they were insterted... 

Now, it is actually fascinating that they have equipment like this, but 3 catheters??  This is where I freaked out.  She started inserting them and I thought I was going to pass out from both fear and pain.

It felt really weird and I was afraid to move with all of these high tech things stuck in my body, not to mention the catheter in my urethra hurt like hell.


Once this was over, I was brought back into an upright position over the special toilet and my bladder was filled with sterile water.

I was asked to tell her when my bladder felt like it does when I know it is time to pee.

Once I got to that point, she had me cough a few times and bear down, like your pooping or giving birth.  This was to see if I leaked urnine, which I don't.

She then continued filling my bladder and I was asked to tell her when I got to the point where I'd actually get up from a TV show I was really into to go to the bathroom.

Once I got to that point, she had me do the same coughing and bearing down again.

She then started filling my bladder really fast and I was asked to tell her when I felt like I just couldn't hold it one more second.

Once I got there we did the coughing, bearing down again.

Then she left the room and I peed into the special toilet and yes the catheters were still inside of me during this.  It was weird, painful and that water was like ICE.

I'm not sure why this was so painful for me, I never had a catheter when I gave birth.  I only had a quick catheter right before delivery to empty my bladder and I was so numb from the epidural I didn't even realize it. 

It has been almost 8 hours after my prodecure and I am still having pain.

The nurse said this happens to some people who might be more sensitive in that area than others.  Figures I'd be one of them.

The good news is, my bladder and all the muscles that go into urination work perfectly so this answers my doctors question, it is indeed a sacral nerve problem and I will go on to have the Medtronic Interstim device implanted.

I will find out tomorrow when my temporary device will be placed and then if that goes well, I'll get a permanent device about 2 weeks after that.

I am really excited about this and after dealing with my issue for over 8 years, I'm ready to feel normal again.

Testing Day

I am sitting around sipping water, waiting to leave for my urologist appointment this morning.

I'm sipping water because I have to come with a full bladder.  This might just kill me, literally.

I didn't sleep last night because I'm in panic mode about these tests.

They sound less than desirable.

But what can be more revealing than giving birth?

I'm thinking not much.

I'll live through this.

If it means I won't pee 27 times a day and actually get more than 4 hours of sleep a night, I'll pretty much do anything at this point.

If you are the least bit interested in what I'll be doing today, you can read about it here.

She also mentioned something about a scope, I can't really remember exactly, I just hope it isn't this because if you read this it mentions general anesthesia and I'm going to her office, so if she is planning on doing this procedure without giving me something I'll probably have the cops called on me.

Wish me luck.

Toxic People

There is someone in my life that is toxic to me.

This person has upset me to the point where I feel physically ill and am in tears often.

I finally know what it feels like to be bullied.