Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Have You Ever???

Have you ever been so tired that you cannot even process a thought, so tired you cannot remember how to make coffee even though you make it every day, so tired you cannot focus on anything, so tired you can barely remember your name, so tired you forgot you were married, so tired you almost forgot to feed the baby, so tired that you know that you'd be safer driving drunk than tired????

That is how tired I am.

Davis has been sick off and on for 3 weeks now, yes, 3 weeks.  Sinus infection, followed by a crazy high fever for 3 days which turned into being a nasty throat infection.  You know what a sick toddler equals, right??   No sleep.  That is right, I'm going on a good 10 days with no sleep and it isn't like Davis is a stellar sleeper to begin with.  Sleeping has never been his strong suit. Well, I sleep, but maybe at the most 5 hours a night, last night it was a whopping 2 hours.  And because I'm busy all day taking care of that toddler, chasing that toddler, attempting to cook, clean, keep up with laundry, I feel dead at night.  Only to finally get Davis in bed, go to bed myself and have him wake up 2 hours later, refusing to go back to sleep.   When we have periods like this it reminds me why we are not having another baby, no matter how much I think I want another one, I know that I cannot physically or mentally do it, I'd commit myself.  Harsh, I know.  It isn't his fault, right?  He deserves a brother or sister, right??  Maybe I'm a wimp and should suck it up and just live my life feeling like a zombie for the next 6 years because everyone else does it, looking like shit, buying stock in Clinique cover up to hide my dark circles, not feeling good about myself, not losing any of this baby weight because when it is said and done I don't have 1 ounce of energy to even do a leg lift, let alone go jogging at night.   Or I can embrace the child I have, deal with him and him only and move on with my life.

I think I'll choose the later.

At least my husband won't have to buy me the Bugaboo Donkey.

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